I had a baby by a knuckle-head. I'm not ashamed to admit it. People make mistakes. And that's always one mistake I will always regret. However, sometimes I don't regret it, because my son is here. I can't bring myself to regret having my child. Yes I do wish things were different, and I do wish my son's father acted more like a real man. But, I can't make him be a man. He's a needy individual and unfortunately it's taking him a while to grow up.
He grew tired of our relationship. Oh well. He's a human being and love isn't a guaranteed thing, so now what? He's mean to me. And all he ever does, along with his stuck up family, is talk about me. Talk about how I raise my son, how I dress my son, who I have around my son, how I'm no good, etc... Now maybe if he and his family lifted a finger to help me raise my son, I wouldn't mind their opinions. But they don't. And since he doesn't want to assume the responsibility of not being in his son's life, he blames me. Says how fucked up I am. How bout he needs to stay out of jail long enough to go to more then two of my son's birthday parties. Damn my son will be six this year, and his father still isn't around. And while I really don't give two fucks about his jail career and whether or not he makes anything of his life, we do have a son together. A son that deserves a father.
I could care less about child support. Yes the financial assistance would be helpful, but to be honest, that'll be just one more thing he can hang over my head. He can keep his money. If he ever gets any. Just do right by my child. I didn't make him alone, why in the hell am I taking care of him alone.
And yes I am bitter. I will probably never find Mr. Right or the man that's meant for me. And no that's not anyone's fault. That's just the way it is. 33 years on this Earth, I have learned at least this one thing. To be realistic. No knights in shining armor, no prince charmings, no Mr. Rights, no eternal loves, no husbands. Just me and my son.
And lately, I have been angry. Angry because I think I deserve better then what I'm getting. But sometimes you have to settle in life. I guess I have to settle on being a single mother, and living the rest of my life alone.
He grew tired of our relationship. Oh well. He's a human being and love isn't a guaranteed thing, so now what? He's mean to me. And all he ever does, along with his stuck up family, is talk about me. Talk about how I raise my son, how I dress my son, who I have around my son, how I'm no good, etc... Now maybe if he and his family lifted a finger to help me raise my son, I wouldn't mind their opinions. But they don't. And since he doesn't want to assume the responsibility of not being in his son's life, he blames me. Says how fucked up I am. How bout he needs to stay out of jail long enough to go to more then two of my son's birthday parties. Damn my son will be six this year, and his father still isn't around. And while I really don't give two fucks about his jail career and whether or not he makes anything of his life, we do have a son together. A son that deserves a father.
I could care less about child support. Yes the financial assistance would be helpful, but to be honest, that'll be just one more thing he can hang over my head. He can keep his money. If he ever gets any. Just do right by my child. I didn't make him alone, why in the hell am I taking care of him alone.
And yes I am bitter. I will probably never find Mr. Right or the man that's meant for me. And no that's not anyone's fault. That's just the way it is. 33 years on this Earth, I have learned at least this one thing. To be realistic. No knights in shining armor, no prince charmings, no Mr. Rights, no eternal loves, no husbands. Just me and my son.
And lately, I have been angry. Angry because I think I deserve better then what I'm getting. But sometimes you have to settle in life. I guess I have to settle on being a single mother, and living the rest of my life alone.
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