I feel like Ally McBeal because I keep seeing that Dancing Baby go across my computer screen. And then at night I can't sleep because my biological clock keeps ticking. It would be nice to have another baby but I don't see it in my future. I wanted to get married and have a child by the time I was 35. But as the years pass by so quickly, I don't see that happening. And while I understand you can't rush these types of things, I do feel a little slighted from time to time. Yes I do have a beautiful son, but I feel like I've failed him because I haven't given him the family that I know he deserves. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm disappointed that I didn't make better choices. But then again, he's here now and no matter how much regretting I do, it won't change anything. I love my son deeply. He's a really cool kid. And just because I regret some things doesn't mean I don't appreciate just how blessed I am to have him.

Yeah I know it sounds like complaining, but to be honest I'm just venting. And reality has a habit of sometimes hitting you square in the forehead. Lately, I've been in work/dream mode. Not really realizing just how bad I ache for companionship. Always too afraid to say what I really want out of life. There's nothing wrong with working and wanting professional success. But somehow, my life seems incomplete...