I need a new Chocolate Factory CD. My last one got scratched up. It was a burned copy anyway. I use to listen to that CD everyday, and now sometimes I miss it. I think it was one of R Kelly's best albums. Sorry yall I just can't get with the trapped in the closet songs. They are fun to listen to, but they aren't what I'm use to from R Kelly. Some folks really got mad when R Kelly came out with another album. I guess they thought he was supposed to go through things and just give up on life. Why is it that people just don't realize that life moves on and time moves on? You have no choice but to accept your life and keep on moving. Regardless of what you have done, you can turn your life around. One of my favorite quotes is that God does allow U-Turns. I don't know what I would've done with my life if I never came to the realization that I just wasn't living the way I wanted to. How can grown folks just go through life pretending that they are still children? You supposed to be taking care of kids and your parents right now. They not supposed to be taking care of you and your kids. I should hope when I get older that my son takes care of me. I'm finding in life that family is all you have. I have spoken to people about my relationship and the first thing they ask me is what exactly is your relationship? What are you to him and what is he to you? Is he your boyfriend, your friend, your friend with benefits? Do you answer to him, does he answer to you?? All of these questions.... I don't have an answer for them. One I don't have a traditional relationship and two why should folks care? From now on when people ask me what is the title of my relationship, I'm going to say family. Because that's what we are. It's a whole lot of unconditional love, tenderness, and respect in that relationship. It can't be defined in normal everyday terms. It has 360 degrees of emotion, and yeah sometimes it's hard, but every relationship is hard after a while.

I keep seeing the dancing baby and hearing clocks ticking in my ear. And no matter how hard I try to dismiss it as me getting older and crazier, it never seems to go away. I'll be 34 this year and despite the fact that women are having babies later in life, I still don't think it's a good idea for me to have a child after the age of 35. So I'm stuck...Not that I'm complaining, I got my one. And since it hasn't been easy, I refuse to be put back in the situation that I've struggled so hard to get out of. I didn't want my son to be an only child, but someone reminded me yesterday that you can't always get what you want. And since I'd rather not be a single mother again, it looks like I will never have any more kids. What a somber realization.