Vexed...

Damn I'm irritated today. Been that way since I woke up. Don't ask me why for the past few months I've been so frustrated and annoyed. I guess I need to smoke. And it's even more frustrating that I just seemed trapped in my house and my situation. Maybe that's what is botering me. Or maybe for the past few months, I haven't had the motivation to create. But I guess the peace of mind and the clarity I'm seeking will find me eventually. I just want to scream.

Everything and everybody is getting on my nerves. My home life, my job, my personal life... All of this combined with the lack of certain necessites is causing me to go off the deep end. I long for simplicity. And my life just isn't that.

And no matter how loud I turn up these head phones, I can't escape the pain in my heart and head. I need an outlet. I'm too young for this mid-life crisis. And then when I start to crack, everybody looks at me like I'm crazy... Like I can't be stressed. I just want to cry sometimes. I can't take this no more.

Listening to Gladys Knight- You're the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me...

So I'm thinking of all the things that I've went through in life over the past 33 years. Yes I'm 33, that's a whole different blog entry. Okay... Back to my thoughts...

I spoke about this on my myspace blog, but I feel like I need to say it again. Be Happy People!!!!

See I'm a talker... I like to talk about things on my mind, things in my life... It's a way to relieve stress and maybe catch a different outlook on things. However, I've never been one to let another's opinion sway my decisions in life. For what?? It's my life. And no matter what folks think, your life is never about what others think of it, but of what you think of it.

I know people who will change their entire purpose in life because someone didn't agree with them. Things like that make me go whoa!

Your time on this Earth is not promised, and since that is a fact, you have to live to make you happy and no one else. With that said, I'm about to get blunt for a second... Yes I might ask your opinion, but know in the end, that I might not take your advice. So don't take it personally and don't get offended, because everyone that truly knows me knows that I never been one to take advice if it goes against my gutt.

I have a sense of good and bad. And everytime I go against my gutt, I live to regret it. And since my gutt hasn't told me to leave this situation, I'm not leaving yet. If it's meant for me to leave it, I would. So to all those that tell me to leave, don't get frustrated, because my heart is still in something. And for the moment, the good isn't outweighing the bad.

So with that said people... Be happy! So what you might be dealing with someone that isn't what others think they should be. If you're happy that's all that counts. See when people come to me for advice, I always say, if and when you grow tired of someone, you'll walk away, until then... Try not to stress... Things always work out in the end.