Some say that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I really never understood that expression when I was younger, but now I know that it means to make the best out of your situation and keep on going. In my almost 33 years on this earth, I've went through trials and tribulations, but never once did I give up. Sometimes, I'm guilty of being complacent in this no win situation that I'm in. But I know a change is coming because I'm destined for so much more. Maybe I have to realize that my life isn't really about what I don't have, but what I do have. I have friends, family, talent, motivation, ambition and creativity. But above all, I'm honest. Honest about myself and hones about my situations. If ever I'm confronted with something I truly did, then I'll admit to it and keep on going. That's part of being an adult and a woman. I have flaws, but I'm a good woman... In my opinion, a good woman is hard to find...

Today was a day for the Gap Band. And if you don't know who the Gap Band is, oh well, don't know what to say about that one. Had to listen to something to get me out of this mood. Today I put my foot in my mouth and said something that I should've kept to myself. Oh well about that one too. And while none of the things I said offended anyone or were mean or derogatory, I just wanted to keep it to myself. It's not necessary to share all your feelings. Especially when you know they can interfere. So now I have to deal with the foot in my mouth and somehow swallow my pride and move on with my day. Right now, my bottom lip is dragging the ground. Fantasies are nice, but reality is my day to day... Reality is knowing that it's just me and my son in this world. No person is going to be the knight in shining armor. It's just not going to happen... Well at least not today...

God blesses me in so many ways. Every time I think something is done to me to hurt me, it always helps me in the long run. Yeah, I'm still hurt by some things, but the more I talk to you, the more I realize that we just aren't meant to be. We will never get along. Maybe one day, we'll be friends, but until that day, I have to keep my distance. Yes I moved on, but not to any particular person. Just moved on in my pattern of thinking. It's funny because no matter what happens in my life, I realize that I'm too blessed to be stressed and too annoited to be disappointed. Yes it's a cliche, but it's also the truth. And when the truth presents itself, it's good to the soul to speak of it. And speak of it often. People read the bible everyday. Not only is it instuctions on how to live your life, it is the truth...

You called yourself speaking the "truth" to me. But what you spoke wasn't the truth. It wasn't the truth in your heart. You didn't speak truth, you attempted to point out the obvious to hurt me. But unlike so many, the truth doesn't hurt me. When you are grown and realize your own faults and insecurities, truth comes as no suprise. I deal with the truth everyday. But what I wasn't dealing with was reality. The reality of our relationship and the reality of me holding on to a dream...I don't know what will become of my future. All I can do is keep striving and grinding for what I know is my truth... My creativity and my passion. No matter how hard I try to get away from it, or how distracted I become, it's always there. It smacks me in my face often... I often wish things were different. But my reality is what it is. And until I meet my creative and thought provoking soul mate... Every relationship I embark on will fail... Because most people don't want to realize the truth...