I have a headache this morning. But it feels like a migraine. Everything is spinning. And no I didn't drink last night. I rarely drink. I couldn't sleep last night, but I was too tired to sew. And to top it off, my son gets in my bed at five this morning waking me up. He did go back to sleep, but he too just didn't want to get up this morning. He waved goodbye to me on his way to school...As he always does, and of course he blew me kisses... HeeHee! Kisses from my son are so sweet... He swears he's a lover... 5 yrs old and already a player... On another note, I'm very anxious to get this show over with.

The elephants are back...On another note, better yet on a completely different subject, my dad once told me that, "you have to find someone that loves what you do as much as they love you." That line has a lot of truth to it. Often times I meet men who just don't appreciate my creativity and therefore, we often clash. A lot of people don't understand that being creative is what I am and it's never going to change. A lot of men want to spend time with me after I'm done sewing. But to be frank, I'm never really done, I'm just taking a break. I don't consider something you do almost every day as being a candidate for complete. For example, you're never done doing the dishes because every day you do them. You've just washed that day's dirty dishes... Okay, back to the subject at hand. I've always tried to seek out creative men... Simply because they have a better understanding of my motivation. However, I do not get along with visual creative men... Don't know why... Something about their visualization of life... I better vibe with writers or music makers. I once had a platonic male friend (gotta put that out there for those folks that always think more) who made music. We spent a lot of time together having silent conversations. No words, just vibing off one another's energy. I was often at his apartment while he made music...It soothed me. And we spent so much time together, it was hard to convince our friends that we were just platonic. For a while, it was an everyday occurrence. We both worked, I would go over there, spend all day and all the night and go back to work the next day. No phone, no TV, just us and our silent conversations. To be honest, it was the most intimate relationship I've ever had. Even though, it wasn't a "relationship." I long for that in my life. One of those people that I can have silent conversations with. Someone that vibes off of my energy and just enjoys spending time with me. When I do find that man, he'll be my husband...

"Work is Work"... At least that's what I was always taught. It doesn't matter what you do, just as long as you're honest and work hard. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if you're a stock broker or a garbage collector, you're still working. I do resent those folks who think that their work is more valuable then another's. Meaning, that they're more important because of the type of work they do. I wasn't brought up that way. My dad was a mechanic, and my mom is a unit clerk at a hospital. No doctors or lawyers in my immediate family. But still I respect them for their work ethic. Yes it offends me when someone questions my work ethic. And it also bothers me when folks accuse me of being lazy... But in all honesty, I can be very lazy. That's cause I'm burnt the fuck out! No excuses here, just straight up honesty. Maybe I haven't worked hard enough to fulfill my dream. Yes I'm human, and hell yeah, I get distracted. I'm trying to balance my life as much as possible. I have a 9 to 5, a son, a business... Hell, sometimes, one of them has to give. Just for me to get through 24 hours. And here's a hint, it's not my son, or my 9 to 5. It's easy for folks to look in my life and tell me what I'm doing wrong. But how often do they turn that judgment on themselves. I can admit all of my faults. I'm guilty of being a procrastinator, lazy, impatient, and mean individual. I'm not a soccer mom, and I believe in raising your child, not necessarily being their best friend. But I have love for a lot of people. I'm generous, caring and warm hearted. I'm friendly and very helpful to everyone around me. I believe in helping those less fortunate and lending my time to those who need it. I do believe the good outweighs the bad. For all those that only see one side of me, open your eyes, you just might make a friend.

"Happiness..."

Use to evade me when I was younger. Maybe because I never knew what it was. But with time comes wisdom, and now the little things in life make me so happy. Whether it was when I found GOD or when I have more then 5 hours of sleep, every day of my life is happiness. People forget to realize that there are people in this world that have no happy days. They suffer each and every single hour of every single day. I'm happy that I had breakfast, and happy that I need to lose some weight. I think we all forget about just how fortunate we all are. Yes I often forget... I have learned that life is what you make it and love is what it often appears to be. I love my life and all the people in it. Every bad experience in my life has been an important lesson. And while I may forget them from time to time, they will forever be ingrained in my heart and soul. Until next time, a mystical, unrefined, shy Black Butterfly!