Almost everyday I write in this blogger, and when I write, I seldom get to really say what's on my mind. That's because it's too much on my mind. And I'm finding that the day just isn't long enough...If the days were twice as long, we wouldn't live as long... Well we would, but it would seem shorter because our days would be longer. It's all too much for me to think about on a clear mind.

Some say that we are aliens... I know that you have heard this theory... And that the rapture is actually the mother ship coming back to save us from the end of this dying planet... If you believe that theory then where does GOD fit into the scenario? I don't know what I believe anymore. I would like to think that Jesus was the son of God and that he died for the sins of all of us and if we believe in him we will not perish but have everlasting life and dwell in the house of the lord forever...But sometimes that explanation of the afterlife seems so simple...If you believe in energy then you should've heard that energy can neither be created or destroyed, rather transformed. So when we die, what happens to the energy that our bodies produce? What does it get transformed to? See all these are too many questions for a lost soul such as myself. Especially on a Friday in the middle of the afternoon and while I'm at work... I never use to worry so much about death and what would become of me... Now, well I'm starting to think about life and my place in it and wondering when will my time come? And what mark would I leave on this world?

I'm working this 9 to 5 and realizing that my happiness doesn't lie here. I just want to create. It's always been that way. Eversince I can remember. And my creativity is suffering. See creative people are like birds. And when you cage them, most of the time, they die. Birds aren't meant to live in cages. GOD made them to fly. Creative people aren't meant to conform. GOD made them to create. And the pressure of society and the day to day life often drives them mad. If you are creative, you just have to be what you are. And looking at debits, and credits, and invoices, and journal entries, is not what I'm meant to do in life. I'm meant to be free from logic...Well at least most of the time...

But life has the funny way of stepping on your plans and deferring your dreams. And all too often we forget about just what we are meant to do in life... What am I meant to do in life???? Above all, I'm meant to create... And If I keep praying maybe I'll get the opportunity to create all day and every day...

Blogger was down for a couple of days... Well at least it was down whenever I was trying to post...And I wanted to vent about sooooo many things. And well today... I really don't have much to say...I was on myspace yesterday and said hello to all of my friends. Which is crazy cause these are people that I see or talk to on a semi-regular basis. Even if they wasn't on myspace, I still would be saying hey! Crazy huh?? Anyhow... the past couple of days have been weird... That's because I really haven't been sewing... I guess I'm taking a break after prom season and fashion show season. Only to realize that fashion show season isn't quite over yet. Which is a good thing cause a sista could use the dough...I'm trying to move into a house. I saw a nice three bedroom with a finished basement. It looked like it would be perfect for me and my little man. Speaking of Little Man... I miss him. He's spending some time with his daddy. I'm not trying to interfere... Summertime is for dads! It'll do him good to maybe spend a month or two with his father. Both of them need each other. But when I woke up this morning and realized that he wasn't there, well it hurt a little bit. But I'm sure he'll be fine and maybe this experience will be good for them...