Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I kind of feel stupid today. Simply because I poured out my heart to someone and they didn't even acknowledge the letter. Hmmmmm? Maybe that's because they really don't have anything to say. Who knows? But now I'm feeling like I should have never said what was truly on my mind. Sometimes folks just don't want to hear it. Which is a very plausible explanation as to why I never got that response.

And I dare not ask about it because I know I'm gonna get some answer that I don't want to hear. So, I'll just let it marinate. Maybe they will talk about it, maybe they won't.

Maybes in life always did kill me. I hate maybes. Some people like maybes, but at this point in time, I look forward to hearing a yes or no. That's because maybe never turned into a yes for me. It always turned into a hell no!

I'm never at easy with uncertainity. Even when I was a little girl, I always had to have the answer right then and there. Asking for a chance is a new experience to me. I never wanted chances, just the winning ticket. But what I'm beginning to realize is that sometimes that winning ticket is out your grasp. And asking for that million dollar ticket is something you will never receive. So when you buy that scratch off, you are buying a chance. You could win a million or not... Who knows? But you will never know if you do not buy that ticket!
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